Evinda Lepins

September 12th, 2013

Nana Holds-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Thanks so much for joining me again today for a little break and more of Nana Holds. Grab your coffee and come on in. I want to bring Bryden into this symptom and share how God used him to bring me to a better awareness of my feelings.
I’ve actually shared these truths previously back in the beginning of this series, but I want to share them again in light of this symptom in the hopes that our understanding of this relationship infection will increase and its power decrease!
In the beginning of this season of getting to be his Nana-Mama, it stirred all kinds of feelings up and moments of being incredibly uncomfortable in my skin. There were times when I would have anxiety attacks if I tried to look too far into the future. Much of the time investment in the beginning of this season went to trying to understand why I felt as though there was all this chaos going on inside and I couldn’t put my finger on any one feeling. I just knew I wasn’t comfortable. So I would spend my quiet times with Him, crying out for understanding, wanting to know why I had a hard time letting him be a child, a hard time determining truth from feeling wherein I would assume the worst about him, think he was trying to manipulate things and me and there were even times where I envied his childhood but wasn’t exactly aware of that either, let alone the reason why.
Through those quiet times, He did hear my cries and He did begin to reveal things to me as He felt I could handle them,

Nana Holds 2-23-13

and all of these revelations led to the How We Love trench class which opened up the door to the rest of the understanding that has illuminated in this journey of Nana Holds. I am so excited to now understand my feelings, but that’s not all. I now know why because I know their root. That understanding has given me such freedom to be me and to allow this amazing little boy to be the child that I never got to be, to relate to him in ways that no one else can because he and I have so much in common!
Oh, how often I hear certain scriptures taken out of context that talk about moving forward without looking back, forgetting the past, and on and on. For example in 2nd Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” The new life has begun! It’s the new life that takes over the old life. It’s the new creation in us, His Spirit that breaks us free from the old. It’s not a twinkle-your-nose and come-to-Christ magic spell; it’s a process . . .
Finally learning to embrace the process,
Evinda

Nana Holds!

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Tags: anxiety, anxiety attack, Bible, child, faith, feelings, G