Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Loving the Unlovable

Loving the Unlovable-Step 9

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for inviting me into your coffee hour and back into this series. It’s been years since I first wrote these steps, and yet, they still seem so new, so foreign to this tent of flesh! I love how they are all coming back to life within me, and I pray they are coming to life within you! The fact that He has allowed me to share them with you squeezes my heart! Grab your coffee and let’s get to Step 9!

Ah, as I look at this step, and remember, the memory takes my breath away. And though the incident happened a long time ago, and was the inspiration for Step 9, I remember it with such vividness that it could have happened yesterday! See, I shared this amazing moment with three people who were actually on my list in the beginning of this process all those years ago. And I know I was on theirs! :) What we shared makes this step ring so clear and true. This experience couldn’t have taken place without living these truths that sparkle more brilliantly through real-life experiences.

For several years prior, I had longed for a relationship with all three of them, despite the unfortunate history riddled with pain and differences that each of us brought to the table. Looking back at the process with them, I can now see that because we had detached in love and were each working on ourselves, instead of trying to fix each other, we were moving closer and closer to a healthy relationship. Each of us recognized our need for the love and grace of God in our own lives, and all of this led us to this beautiful sunny afternoon.

We were all outside talking. I would have loved to be inside the mind of the people who passed by while we were laughing and sharing stories out in the driveway, as though we had never gone through all the pain we had endured. Our joy was shining through all the animation. It was a conversation that we all participated in, leaving no one out. As I got ready to leave, I asked if we could all pray together. They agreed. We all scooted in together closer and for a moment we rested in the sounds of creation, the leaves rustling on the trees, the birds in the air, and then we each bowed our head as if we did this all the time.

Without going into the specifics of what we were praying about, let me just tell you that our hearts joined in one accord as our arms came around one another and tied us together in a beautiful Christ-centered knot of prayer! All of these steps we’ve talked about up to this point made the moment we shared a possibility!

Step 9 is simply this: Pray for them. After all, you never know when you’re going to pray with them! You may be asking, “How do I pray for them?” Well, what we don’t do is give God a “to-do list” of all the changes He needs to make in them; but we start by genuinely praying for their well-being. For some of us, that may be close to impossible, which indicates there may be some bitterness, envy, et cetera you’re hanging on to, so begin by asking Him to help you let go (Step 7) of anything that is preventing you from genuinely praying for their well-being. If we hold on to anything negative as it pertains to that unlovable/difficult person, love will not be able to flow through. It’s kind of like a clogged pipe. If you try to do Step 9 before Step 7, you’re going to get stuck.

Oh, that we would remain conduits, free of any clogs in our hearts, junk in our trunk, making loving the unlovable a reality, not just a possibility!

His conduit,

Evinda