Tam’s Trench Truth

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Tam’s Trench Truth, things he’s learning from the trenches of life. Grab your coffee and come on in.

Hello and welcome back everyone. Hope this all finds you well. When I say I hope this all finds you well, I really mean that. You’re familiar with that saying, “it takes one to know one,” right? I was thinking about this very saying just the other day…and how this applies to me and my brother.

It has often been hard on me to be there for people, and yet I feel people are like my church. I can see them at stop lights beside me and I'll glance over real quick just to see the look on a person's face. Sometimes I see happiness, stress, torment, fear, but the one I pick-up most on is heartbreak. They say it takes one to know one.

In these moments when I see people in this sadness, something in me wants to reach out and hug them, talk to them and lend them a word of encouragement that time will help the heartbreak. Or is it really patience that does? There are so many of us running around working to pay bills, raise children, get to work... yet at the end of the day so many of us are found wanting... wanting of someone to just love and care for us, someone to come home and laugh with, talk with, maybe even fight with when those times are there.

I have never stopped loving anyone I was ever with and regardless of how I was treated I don't want to live bitter. But the most loyal experiences in my life have been with my brother and a dog named Bella. I feel overwhelming gratitude and thanks for all the love I received from my dog Bella while her four paws walked this earth.

And then there’s my brother. We have a strained relationship, but he's my brother and really the only family I think who ultimately cares. Lately I have determined to not be so sad about not having my own family, and focus on what I can change: my relationship with my brother. If I would die for him because I love him, why wouldn’t I first live for him and try and be a better brother.

I have not been the easiest person to get along with and yet he was there when no one else has been. I am definitely my brother's keeper, but I still feel guilty that my needs have left him short of maybe living a different life than what he wanted to. I want to see him fly with a freedom because life has weighed him down. I want to see him spread his wings and attain more things that he wants out of his life. I don't want to be the anchor or the one who keeps him grounded. 

If I can find this sense of satisfaction and joy when helping others then I know I need to reach out and go it a new way as well with and for my brother. I find myself, or should I say I have already found myself trying to change things up with my brother. It's hard to make changes but I love him and he deserves it. I know he has wings that he still needs to flap, to rise into his own fresh world. I find myself praying for my health to better so I don't have to rely on him as much. Usually my prayers have been "God please help me get through work tonight because the pain is so heavy on me." But now though I may pray the same thing, it is for a different reason, for my brother’s well-being as well.

Yes, I am learning to count my blessings, and there’s one right before me, my brother. It’s time for me to treat him as a blessing. Would you all join me in prayer, praying not only for my health and for my pain to subside, but for my brother's to find his wings.

Much love to you all, oh how much I really mean this for all of you whoever you are and wherever you come from

John