Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…
Thanks for stopping by Coffee Hour @ Chicklitpower. I’m so glad you’re here. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to Revival for Relationships and Bryden’s 3rd birthday!
Oh, how relevant are the things I’ve learned this past year and a half, about myself, Bryden, children in general and the value of relationships. Every one of us is born with a God-sized hole and each of us has the same basic needs: Need for acceptance, security & hope.
Our parents were the representatives for that God-sized hole and if they did not fulfill their role, then how do we allow Him to fulfill that or anyone else? When the needs of acceptance, security and hope are not met, life turns into a mission, a mission of control in search for preservation, protection and sustenance, and if trust has been broken, then we come to trust only that which we can control.
Control in and of itself is a delusion and the less I hang on to it, the more in control I am! I shared about my failed relationships and how I was finally realizing what had destroyed them: what I’ve come to call “the relationship infection.” Every new relationship was a quest, a search for acceptance, security and hope, and if I ever felt that slipping, which happened all the time, I tried to hang on to it even more by trying to control in whatever way I could.
Now I must confess that as I stood before the crowd, I was focused on what I had learned up to that point about myself and had not quite made the connection like I have at this point in the journey, today. But as I wrote that last paragraph, the little face I keep seeing is Bryden and suddenly it clicks: He and I have so much in common, and that’s not to bash his parents or mine. All parties involved were/are working with what they were given in their early years and so the cycle begins. But what I know that I know that I now know by and through experience, and with the help of an amazing book, How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovitch, that these things can be unlearned, a new imprint created. It’s never too late for God.
What a beautiful privilege to be granted: to be part of little Bryden’s framework, and the nurturing, fulfilling his need for acceptance, security and hope. What child doesn’t deserve that? Just because I didn’t get it doesn’t mean I am incapable of giving it. That is the brand new truth that I was just beginning to recognize on Bryden’t third birthday as I stood before the crowd present at our Revival for Relationships workshop!
Join me tomorrow for more,
In His transforming love,
Evinda
Nana Holds!
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