Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklitpower
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…
Thanks so very much for joining me today for more discoveries and revelations from this life-changing series of Nana Holds. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to the fear section of these symptoms of the Relationship infection.
So the next statement we need to look at is this: “Are you afraid to approach others directly, especially when it’s the addict or involves conflict?” Again, I was leaning more toward the no on this, but not quite there. How about you? Did your heart skip a beat when you read the word “conflict”? I know many think that conflict is a negative subject and therefore avoid it like the plague. I will confess to you in my early unpacking stage, I was definitely one of those. However, since He’s removed many of the pieces of my emotional junk, I am learning that conflict can be a character developer and therefore positive, not negative.
How we handle conflict proves this. I’m in no way a pro with this, but I am getting better at allowing Him to guide me through conflict. Resolving conflict involves taming the anxiety before confronting the conflict – easier said than done; praying for wisdom and discernment, leaving emotions out of it as much as possible, and finally, timing! That last one is a doozie; trust me!
I think I’ve received the majority of opportunity to learn this in marriage, but also as Bryden’s guardian/Nana, especially when it comes to dealing with the conflict that inevitably comes to the surface from others who love Bryden. We are each individuals with our own ideals, habits and value systems, each of us doing the best we can with what we have.
This statement is a definite telltale of a symptom of the relationship infection: “Do you avoid taking risks with others because it is hard for you to trust?” As I stood before the friends of CPM, my answer was yes, but I thought it was no! I know, that sounds crazy, but as I share this with you today, I am in the process of processing (
) a possible risk that my husband is asking me to take and while my
spirit is encouraging me to encourage him in this possible venture/risk,
my flesh is incredibly anxious! This will involve giving more of me
than I’ve given in this – or any other – marriage but as I remind myself
that He is my First Husband, my anxieties are put to rest – this is a
process I have to repeat over and over and over again.What about you? Have you denied taking a risk with someone because of your lack of trust, or maybe who you trust? The risk could involve the relationship itself, but anything that involves vulnerability to anything!
And the final statement we need to examine our hearts about is” “Do you often have anxious feelings or worry about what will happen next?” My answer at the time of this event, on Bryden’s 3rd birthday, was definitely “no,” the key word being “often.” But it wasn’t always this way. Fear used to drive many of my feelings which led to actions, actions that usually had a negative effect.
See, there are at least ten verses in the Bible that speak to us about anxiety in such a powerful way as to walk us right past anxiety. One of the shortest, easiest ones to remember is Psalm 56:3: “Whenever I am afraid [anxious], I will trust in You.” (NKJV) This one is a favorite of mine, and I hope it plants in your heart and blossoms in your heart any time anxiety rises, threatening to do you in. Philippians 4:6-8: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.
Join me tomorrow as we tackle the next category of symptoms of the relationship infection. Remember you can’t diagnose the infection if you don’t know the symptoms; wisdom and knowledge bring physical, emotional and spiritual health!
Evinda
Nana Holds!
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